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14.08.07
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Not So Right On
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Comment by Alexander Arkhangelsky
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Nemtsov’s Attempts to Win Popularity Are Misplaced
Last week the Central Elections Commission held rehearsals for December’s parliamentary elections. Simulated parties were given made-up names and members of the commission put themselves down in the invented lists of voters; [Electoral Committee Chairman] Churov himself brilliantly played the role of a forgetful pensioner who had left his passport at home, and when he got back it turned out that his name wasn’t on the list. It was a very lively and impressive undertaking, great for television, pleasant for the participants and useful for the presidential administration.
We will also make use of this game and offer up a few words of warning for the leaders of the legal opposition. They will be a warning, because afterwards it will be too late. In the fall will come the frosts; anything that isn’t United Russia will go into a deep freeze that will stop harsh truths about the enemies of the system being spoken. So, we’ll take our liberal comrades while they’re unlucky enough to still be warm, early; before it gets dangerous; in the vague hope that preventative measures will have a curative influence on them.
Quite recently, Boris Nemtsov announced that he was ready to join the first three names on the renewed SPS party list; yes, he had been planning on quitting frontline politics, throwing himself overboard as party ballast, but people wouldn’t accept this sacrifice and were again asking him to reenter the pre-election pool. Nikita Belykh will thus symbolize the renewal of the right-wingers, Vladimir Ryzhkov (if he’s allowed to be included) will demonstrate a readiness to open up to serious competitors, and Nemtsov will represent the continuity of the freedom-loving line in policy. In principle, how could we object to all this? Nemtsov is a wise and experienced man; he has good connections in the regions; he won’t have to be built up – everybody already knows who he is.
But here’s the rub. The party is called the SPS, the “Union of Right Forces” if its full name is translated literally. The leader of the right is by definition reputable and serious; yes, witty, yes, a lover of life, but by no means vulgar, never demonstrating a tendency towards clownish buffoonery. But now GQ magazine is published in which the leader of the right and fighter on the capitalist front is sitting at a restaurant table with lewd “it-girl” Ksenia Sobchak, whose behavior is less than coy. Perhaps as a young Zhirinovsky – before he became lethally tired and settled down. And about what, exactly? I’ll give you a few quotes. Sobchak: “It’s obvious that you love those who won’t bite back. What about [actress and screenwriter] Renata Litvinova?” Nemtsov: “Renata is an Aryan woman. The sexual dream of a Third Reich soldier. That type doesn’t turn me on. Maybe it’s because I’ve got Jewish blood in me.” And that’s just a warm-up; towards the middle of the conversation it gets pretty hot. About the state channel’s television host Katya Andreyeva, who has large, sensual lips which inspire “all sorts of different fantasies;” and about regret at the fact that such worthy lips should enthusiastically pronounce “censored propaganda.” The singer Valeria inspires empathy, but not attraction, as her image is that of a poor little girl in socks (“In the sense of … and I cry,” Nemtsov specifies). And so on, all in the same spirit. Finally, Boris Yevimovich can’t take it anymore and asks his interviewers: “Girls … you do realize that our conversation is complete…?”
No complaints or questions for the girls, of course. The only questions are for the man who wants to lead the right-wingers. The liberals: the westernizers. To lead them forward to live like in Europe. And at the same time, in the year-long run-up to the election he not only gabbles away with Sobchak – that’s just a matter of taste, to each his own – but gabbles away with the dictaphone switched on – a direct line to the leading pages of an ultra-fashionable magazine.
And what does he get in return? The trust of young voters? Not at all. Just the jolly friendliness of the in-crowd: one of our guys, a good chap. The in-crowd is in fact a good thing, but for political action it’s entirely senseless; it helps personal relations but has absolutely no influence on elections. Elections are influenced by the opinions of those who aren’t part of the in-crowd; those who awaiting clear answers to simple, vital questions; How can small businesses survive in conditions of totalitarian bureaucracy? How can property be protected from the omnivorous state? How can an independent judicial system be created? How can the chekists be reined in? As for the world of “it” girls and boys … they’re not waiting to hear about that. They don’t have the spare time for it. In the eyes of these people – the main voters – the image of a carefree chattering playboy is closely associated with idleness, irresponsibility, liberal Zhirinovskyism and – by far the worst for Boris Yefimovich – complete political impotence. Someone who is politically impotent can’t protect their voters or defend their vital interests. And how many girls he’s had in the district doesn’t make a blind bit of difference.
In short, the black PR specialists have been given an excellent gift for the pre-election season. Take it, rip quotes out of context, stick them up on billboards.
Boris Nemtsov: “Our conversation is complete…! (And beneath it a line reading: “Vote SPS”).
Boris Nemtsov: … and I cry! (Beneath it, in big lettering: “The right loves Russia!”).
And you can’t sue because it’s been published; you could even cite the source in small-print.
Further, some super-loyal newspaper could discuss the level of historical knowledge of the man who’s trying for the role of party leader for the right-wing: “When the Caribbean crisis broke out in Cuba, Kennedy … Marilyn Monroe. People from the presidential administration rushed into his office and said: “Mr. President, Khrushchev is launching a rocket. So Kennedy got up from Marilyn for a while, spoke to Khrushchev. And the Caribbean crisis was over.” It’s not about the saucy expressions and phrases. And it’s not about this image of the world, this conception of the way the world operates (in every joke there’s a grain of a joke). It’s about the fact that Monroe died in August of 1962. The photos from the spy plane came in on October the 16th. And the crisis began on the 22nd. And all that time, according to Nemtsov’s version, the necrophiliac Kennedy tirelessly … we won’t go on, or we’d end up sounding like a blockheaded right-winger. Or they’ll think we’re blockheaded left-wingers.
Guys. Pull yourselves together before it’s too late. Put your brains back in place and show us that you have, after all, still got them. And remember the story about Paris Hilton. Her grandfather tried to explain to the naughty girl so many times that the rank of grandchild of a billionaire is not so much a right as a selection of unpleasant obligations. A pubescent scamp from the ‘hood can do far more than a representative of a family of status, even if she is packed with pearls and diamonds.
Because the representative can damage the family with scandals, lower their capitalization and weaken their standing in that section of society where decisions are taken. But the girl wouldn’t listen. She slept and laughed. Either she was getting caught drink-driving (again) or she was behind bars. Finally, the grandfather couldn’t take it any more and rewrote his will. Simply depriving Paris of her inheritance wasn’t enough though; no, he donated his entire wealth to charity. Paris had been naughty but everyone else lost their money too: Mom, Pop, and her brothers and sisters. Because they couldn’t or didn’t want to rein her in.
Here’s the moral. It’s you that’s frittering away the remains of the liberal heritage. But it’s us that will take it away. It’s offensive, honestly. We will have to rein you in. |
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